Chunks from My FB Experience
Monday, September 28, 2009
"ksi ho marvi , ur looking so beutifull"
"Looking cool... marvi yaar"
"Hellow marvi sirmed how are you? can we make a good friends please reply me ."
"u very sexy lady plz give me ur mobile number or id only yahoo nd orkut.....reply me baby....."
"u r so cute and so sexy face"
"your pic is very nice & prettey very attractive very sexy plz exchange information every topic of life"
"Madam u looks good.
i would like to chat with u.... "
"how r u sweet lady :D hope u grt...so hows lyf ???? well i saw ur pics u r dame hot n gorgeous ;) so wot u say marvi can we be close frnds ??? i hav same interests lyk u :)"
"hii Marvi..where r u frm?"
"hi beautiful , how r u ? looking beautiful , your gud name ?"
"My name is (NAME) ,WORKING WID A DELHI BASED CO AS A SR GENERAL MANAGER (MKTG).I M LOOKING FR A RELIABLE AND TRUSTWORTHY FRIENDSHIP INITIALLY WHICH I WUD LIKE TO CONVERT IN A PRMANENT RELATIONSHIP ,IF EVRYTHNG GOES WELL IN DUE COURSE OF TIME.MY CONTACT DETAIL S ARE:-ajaysharma1098@rediffmail.com OR MY NO IS 09718513337 FR UR READY REFERENCE..LOOKING FR A LINE IN REPLY PER RETURN MAIL.
WID BEST REGARDS,
(Name)
97185****
"I'm (name), male, age (years), living in (city). Would you like to be my friend?"
This are but few messages I've recieved in my FaceBook Inbox since last couple of days. I'm sure most of women on FB, MySpace, Orkut etc, keep recieving such messages many times a day. Can some one make me understand, what purpose these stupidly thought and written messages serve for the senders? What do they mean by such hazy and vague thoughts?
What one implies when one asks these rather unthinkingly and naively phrased questions? Does that mean "friendship" is a downloading process that can be switched on with one click? And that the only elements that trigger a "friendship" are gender (read sex), age,geopgraphy etc? And why we do not understand that a relationship has to be cultivated rather than being "switched on" like this.
More importantly, why do men (in general, but obviously exceptions are there to prove the rule!) take women as a consumable thing? A commodity that should look a certain way. And since it looks a certain way, advances could be made towards it? And what pushes them to name such advances, as "friendship"?
Many a times I fail to understand if the statement is made about me, or a kitchen item! e.g.,
oh my lord!!!!!!! Such disregard for human dignity! Such disrespect to human-ness of women! And you know what, most of the time, I reply them with a sentence or two, asking if I look hotter than their mother? Guess what? Almost 99% of the times, the reply is full of naked abuses. They can't take it! Then what makes them do something to other women which they don't like to be done to their "own" women? Because in that too, women are commodified and "owned". And you don't listen anything against your own car, and your sister / wife!you're hot and spicy . . . or aap bohot namkeen hein, you are swwetly sexy . . . and so on and so forth!
The question is, how can we change it? Or are we really convinced that it should be changed? Because whenever I've raised this question on my FB or Twitter status messages, I've invariably met with a massive onslaught by menfolk defending this attitude of their brethren. This was actually stranger and more serious. It makes me really sad that we've sunken to this level that can't even differentiate between a coomon good and bad! So much to talk of religion (which is all about morality and ethics) and "eastern traditions"!
Sanaa Khwaan-e-Taqdees-e-Mashriq Kahaan hein???
I'm sorry if this note bothers you, it surely does not apply to you, but please help me understand this phenomenon. Thanks.
Bewildered,
Marvi
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5 comments:
Your Comments here please!
Salam,
It’s a very serious issue in Pakistan, especially for women, that one is always confused as to how to interact with the persons of other gender. Cultural diversity of the country, lack of ethics and morality, lack of uniformity of norms and values, the existence of rigid social structure on one hand and the exposure of the new generation into new norms have produced a space for anomic situation. It’s true that women folk has been objectified here, but it’s also a matter of fact that fuel is being provided by our religion and culture. We need to restructure the whole system, especially to reshuffle the educational institutions. It will take long time to have a society where men and women will be treated equally regardless of their gender.
Regards
Thank you so much for putting it so well! Great thoughts.
AOA sister,
as i know my english is not good but i hope so you understand what i mean. you can't judge person on the basis of gender. You are lucky to have some ideology and there are very few people who pass their life having some ideology, i know many people who spend their lives for aim, i know many old communists, as i am from Hyderabad sindh. i hardly have seen woman having some ideology, its nice to see you working.
Dear sister main issues of sindh is there is no hope for youth, our leaders are sold, so if you are working with some NGO that is working for Youth let me know, i am already engaged with ngo that works for Youth but their ideology is to implement Islam while i have communist believes. visit www.pyo.org.pk
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